Loneliness & Isolation Counselling in Toronto
Human beings are essentially social creatures. We draw much of our meaning from relationships, being known, caring for others, and belonging, whether that’s with partners, family, friends, or community. Although many of us live and work in crowded urban centres, the vast majority of us live alone and often struggle with severe loneliness.
Coping with Loneliness and Isolation
It is important to remember that being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. Why do so many of us find it intolerable to spend time alone, while others can cope or even find they recharge while in private? For some of us, if no one witnesses our lives, actions and emotions – we can fear that our existence begins to have no meaning. This sense of not ‘being seen’ or non-existence can carry over from childhood. This deep sense of disconnection can make dealing with loneliness even more difficult, reinforcing feelings of isolation.
Therapy can provide help and support for loneliness. It can help foster self-esteem and deeper connections and a shift towards a more fulfilled sense of belonging.
Through therapy aimed at addressing loneliness, patients can begin to reassess their relationships. By considering what care they have received as children, they may better understand what they have come to know and expect of themselves, others, and the world at large. Recognizing the ways we’ve learned to adapt to keep ourselves safe can be profound and life-changing.
Through therapy for loneliness, patients can begin to explore patterns developed that contribute to loneliness and isolation and begin to act instead, from a place of relatedness.
How to Manage Feeling Lonely and Isolated
How can psychotherapy help the many of us who have never known that certainty, who know more loneliness, the fear of being forgotten and not being important in anybody else’s mind? Firstly, therapy can identify and validate how painful and debilitating loneliness can feel and uncover in the client’s history and development how they have learned to cope. Then, the most important thing in a good therapy session is the therapist-client relationship. This can be a starting point to understand and find ways out of the vicious cycle of loneliness.
For those experiencing severe loneliness, therapy can provide meaningful support. Therapy for loneliness offers a space to explore past experiences and uncover patterns that contribute to ongoing isolation. By working with a therapist, individuals can develop strategies on how to deal with severe loneliness, build stronger relationships, develop and/or strengthen resources, finding new ways to connect with others.
Building on that therapeutic relationship, the client can begin to reassess their relationships, what caring do they have in their life – and more importantly what they have done in the past to defend against that caring and how they can begin to act, assuming relatedness rather than isolation and loneliness.
“Tell me, where’s the shepherd for this lost lamb? There’s a someone I’m longing to see, I hope that they turn out to be, someone to watch over me. I’m a little lamb who’s lost in a wood, I know I could, always be good, to one who’ll watch over me.”
– George Gershwin
